Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Wedding: The really expensive party taking place relatively 5-10 years before your divorce.
Nobody knows how much work I put into looking only this fat.
It`s Friday! High-five some sh!t!
Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
I hate that I have to put on clothes to participate in society.
I don`t have to run faster than the lion, I just have to run faster than you.
"I`ll let you know" = I need more time to come up with an excuse
The TV is so loud! But not quite loud enough to make me get up and get the remote.
Never judge a girl`s boob size by their jacket.
At this age, I drive everything like I stole it because sometimes I forget which car is mine.
keep scrolling I`ve got nothing....
On a scale from 0 to insane I`m batman
My last boyfriend used to smile and say "I love you" to me every morning as he left for work. At least I think that`s what he was saying. It can be tricky to lip read through binoculars.
If you can read this please let me know - because it means I blocked the wrong person.
Get Dora and Boots on this missing plane case now, Dora solves the case everytime