Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I love running my fingers through my girlfriend`s hair. It`s also a great way to let her know we`re out of napkins.
Nothing makes you feel more like a kid than the right breakfast cereal. Lucky Charms for me please!
When I bang my toe against something, it’s like I pressed a button that plays every curse word I know.
Tony Romo tried to throw his helmet down in frustration but it was intercepted and returned for a touchdown
Today is the first day of the rest of my Vodka.
I just read more people are killed by toasters than sharks.So if you`re swimming in the ocean and see a toaster SWIM FOR YOUR LIFE!
Resisting the urge to write "Just shut the f*ck up" on someones status.
No matter what life brings you, always take a lesson from your dog.. Kick some grass over that s**t and move on.
I love everybody. Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others I love to punch in the face.
Did anyone else go into a furious, violent rage when they found out that George Lucas filmed most of Star Wars here on Earth?
I just found out that his full name is actually, Vehicle Identification Number Diesel.
Sometimes when my phones at 5% battery life I call back all the people I didn`t want to talk too.
Sometimes, the light at the end of the tunnel is just a lost guy with a flashlight.
The one who laughs last is the slowest. The one who laughs first has the dirtiest mind.
People always say that alcohol kills... but if you think about it .... it causes many births too.