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So apparently the numbers on the toaster are minutes? I`ve thought for years it was degree of toasty-ness.
Today one of my colleague told...... Buddy let get into serious studies... exams are on our heads.... And then both of us continued to chat with other people on fb for hours
If you put root beer in a square cup, do you get beer?……………………. (you smart people grinned didn’t you.)
Everyday I’m shoveling. – Winter 2014
Remember, Christmas is over if you sit on a strangers lap now and ask for stuff it`s because you`re a whore.
If two cannibals fight, does that make it a food fight?
There’s nothing worse than getting $0.99 back in change.
According to customer service I can not bring sexy back... Without the receipt, apparently.
Next time you fill out a job application and it asks about military service, it is best not to mention that you`ve gone Commando a few times in your life.
I hav 10 fingers bt i usd only.. the thumb to write this...!
Side effects of telling your wife to get a grip may include throat bruising or testicular swelling.
Nothing makes me more nervous than getting FB msg saying, “You’ve been tagged in a photo” after a crazy weekend.
Turns out, I`m not an afternoon person either...
I don`t care about Disney lying about the Prince Charmings out there. I`m more annoyed that random woodland creatures won`t clean my house.
Someone has got to come up with a polite way to ask a fat girl if she`s pregnant.