Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"we can still be friend" .. is like saying "The dog died, but we can still keep him"
When I hear a person say "My Mom didn`t raise no dummy", I feel like saying "She lied to you"
Doctor: How is your headache? Me: She is fine.
If I have offended you, hurt you, belittled you in any manner, then I want you to know that I was only just getting started.
Facebook taught me to mind everyone else`s business.
Eat breakfast: Check...Pay Phone: Check...Conquer the world: Still Pending...
I came home from the gym today staggering and sweating after pushing my body to the limit ... And all I did was sign up.
I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make 1 wool sweater. I didn`t even know they knew how to knit.
Where do all the ice cream men go in winter?
The problem with you is ... you exist.
I`m not a doctor, but I play one on eHarmony.
Now that I think about it... Facebook became popular ever since I made an account.
I`m fairly certain that kids only have ears for decorative purposes.
When you introduce clapping to your dancing you might probably be too old to be in a night club at 1am.
Don`t worry about walking a mile in my shows. Try a day thinking in head.