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What`s a burnt pizza, frozen beer & a pregnant girl have in common? There was a DUMBASS who didn`t take it out in time.
Everyone around me keeps telling me I`m mean ... Which is absurd ... Plus, they`re ugly.
It`s true alcohol kills people, but how many are born because of it?
You women may be surprised to learn that making us sleep on the couch isn`t that bad. It`s kinda manly, makes us feel like we are camping......with a really angry bear nearby.
I`m starting to think that life isn`t worth living anymore and... Oh wait, there`s the bartender now. Nevermind.
Sure, Men love funny women. As long as they are pretty...and skinny...and they have a great pair of knockers!!
Never judge a book by it`s movie.
There was a sense of accomplishment finishing the daily newspaper. I literally have no idea when I`m supposed to stop reading the internet.
My favourite part about amazingly hot, energetic, passionate sex. Is being able to rewind the tape & watch it again.
When are we gonna admit that those tools we keep by the fireplace are just for killing people?
A lie is a great story that someone ruined with the truth.
is in his own little world but it´s okay they know me here.
If you have really strong opinions on subjects that you know very little about... then Facebook just may be the perfect thing for you.
Sometimes I just open up the cabinet and let the Tupperware hit me in the face on purpose.
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. -Me with beer, me without beer