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That awkward moment when you give the same Hallmark card two years in a row.
Oh and BTW,,, Why haven`t Pig Pen`s parents been visited by child services yet?
That person who waits to the last minute to change lanes and expects you to make room. NOT ON MY WATCH!
You`d think my neighbors could have the decency to ignore me back.
Dear Haters, I have so much more for you to be mad at me for...please be patient.
Saw a Mime doing his gig. I reached into my purse and pretended to throw money in his hat.
Being skinny might be nice, but having pizza is nicer.
The phrase "Don`t take this the wrong way." has a zero percent success rate.
Use a mirror and you will find, PI.E = 3.14
I`m not lazy, I just rest before I get tired
If a clown farts, does it smell funny?
Now that I know how many calories there are in a pint of beer , I have decided to stop eating.
Recent survey asked people in the U.S if there are too many immigrants: 17% said yes, 83% said Lo siento, no hablan Inglés
Can I tell you how terribly grateful I am that no one had cell phones, iPads or digital cameras when I had to squaredance in P.E.
Santa gets all the credit and I get all the debt.