Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Didn’t Selfie Sticks used to be called Friends?
Woke up screaming this morning. My apologies to everyone in the meeting...
Do you think in the spirit world they have TV shows about trying to make contact with the living?
Back in my day, we didn’t have Instagram. We had to bore people in person with photo albums.
"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the truth" ... I choose dare, your honor
I did not trip...the floor looked like it needed a hug.
Everybody stop what you`re doing and play with crayons! You`re wlecome, enjoy the day.
If god can artificially inseminate someone, why did he need two of every animal on the ark to repopulate the world?
If your drug dealer is always on time he is a cop …
I hate it when spiders just sit there acting like they pay rent.
Yes, my attitude could stand some improvement but my insurance does not cover those meds.
If money grew on trees, Congress would actually care about the environment.
I feel sorry for men who don’t know how to value women. One look at a woman and I know how much she will cost me.
Just read someones status, "Today is the frist day of your life," Thats just stupid, mine was over 45 years ago.. If it was the frist day of your life you wouldn`t be able to read it... Dummy
I don`t understand why people pay therapists when I`ll tell them what`s wrong with them for free.