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Perhaps Nicki Minaj just lost a series of bets.
I hate it when a website greets me with a pop-up window. It just feels like you should say hi first, maybe buy me a drink.
I can`t understand why women are okay that JCPenney has an older women`s clothing line named, "Sag Harbor."
I don`t need glasses ... I drink straight from the bottle.
I always stop to help women broke down. I don`t know sh!t about cars, but I do know how a good porno starts off!
I just noticed me saying "LOL" everytime I`m laughing = facebook addict...lmao :)
lol I rotfl
Searching Netflix is almost more of an activity than watching a movie on Netflix.
Never believe a person who claims is telling the truth while holding a pack of beers in both their hands
My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I`m pretty sure she was hitting on me.
I love my six pack abs so much that I cover them with a layer of fat .
If you`re feeling powerless just remember a single one of your turds can shut down an entire water park.
I fear the day when our kids would look at old you tube videos of us doing the Harlem Shake and Gangnam Style and think what a retarded generation ours was.
Girl: What color are my eyes? Guy: 34D.
My girlfriend is gorgeous, selfless, graceful, highly intelligent and looking over my shoulder as I type.