Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
i dont normally have a cool facebook status, but when i do, an older relative spoils it with a lame comment.
The realization you`ve spoken too loudly when you exclaimed: " My Salad had NUTS!"
Gentlemen may not be extinct, but they are definitely endangered
Last night my wife said to me, “What would you do without me?” Apparently, “Your sister” was the wrong answer.
Just pour the coffee and back away slowly.
I feel like there should be more breakfast beers on the market.
I just saw a guy with the Monster energy logo tattooed on his neck, so if your village is missing their idiot, we have him.
I may be delusional but at least I`m going to Mars in November.
If women are so perfect at multitasking, how come they can`t have a headache and sex at the same time?
If you`ve never actually got dressed, got in your car & pretended to drive "to work" to get a chick to leave your house then you`re not me.
Cats spend two thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.
Sometimes I just go on Facebook to see who has been dumped and who is pregnant.
Why is Charmin trying to get us comfortable with bears? HELLO THEY EAT PEOPLE
Getting a text from someone when I`m trying to Facebook is the emotional equivalent to walking into a spider web.
I need to tell you something. I know it is going to break your heart and maybe you will not talk to me after the bad news. But I want you to hear it from me first instead of hearing it from someone else. This is going to make you cry I know. I first thought I must just keep quiet about it but I know it will not be fair on you. I am so ashamed to have to do this but you need to know the truth. Don`t be mad at me please. I will understand if you never want to hear from me ever again but it m