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Is it called NASCAR because that’s the way a hillbilly pronounces “nice car?”
I will be posting telepathically today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.
Alcohol doesn´t solve any problems ... but then again, neither does milk.
According to cannibals it only takes one vegetarian to make vegetarian chili.
Because of tanning beds, 1000 years from now archaeologists will think we used to fry people as punishment.
I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection.
I heard Disney bought and are relocating the White House to Disneyland. They Say, it will be the new Center Piece of FANTASY LAND.
It`s unfortunate that most people will never run out of things to say.
I’m going to the gym because I heard they have free weights. I wonder how many they’ll let me take?
I`d like to be poor for a day, because being poor everyday gets to be real annoying after awhile.
She asked me to make her feel special so I gave her a helmet and crayons.
I guess if you spoke your mind, you´d be speechless, huh?
The toughest part of a lesbian relationship is deciding who gets to be the one who`s always right.
Do you think people will start blaming auto correct for there marriages breaking down?
My home security system is just 15 motion-activated Big Mouth Billy Basses.