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Don`t talk to me about disappointment. I had lots of adults tell me they were gonna "fix my little red wagon" yet here it sits with a broken wheel still
No matter how prepared you think you are, a retractable vacuum cord will always find the weakness in your defense.
If we all winked, laughed out loud, stuck out our tongues and blew kisses in real life as much as we do in texts...it would be very creepy.
If that was me in the movie Taken, my dad would have missed the call and texted me 3 days later asking if I have a girlfriend yet.
Finally got my Bon Jovi Sat Nav working... Wooahh we`re half way there.
House cleaning would go a lot faster if the spray bottles made laser gun sounds
The length of a minute depends on which side of the bathroom door you´re on.
Waking up is the second hardest thing in the morning.
If you don`t give a f*ck then why you telling everybody?
I hope to get to the point in my life where I`m not excited about finding change on the ground.
I’m glad we can’t smell each other through the internet.
I know that somewhere in the Universe exists my perfect soul mate, but looking for her is much more difficult than just staying at home and ordering another pizza.
I`m disgusted by the thought of people updating their status while sitting on the toilet like I am right now.
I was born to be happy… not normal.
Girls here`s an idea, instead of spending all that money on makeup. Just buy your guy a bottle of Jack Daniels.