Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I bet Waldo’s parents are worried sick.
Has anyone ever seen a gorilla in the mist? Some of the local drivers struggle to see my car in perfect daylight conditions, so I doubt that they`d spot a Gorilla in limited visibility!!!!!
Yes, I know why you pulled me over. I didn`t see you in your little hiding spot over there, so I couldn`t slow down in time.
Nothing says “I hate you” like giving someone’s child a drum set.
There is a special place in hell for people who are not ready to order when it`s their turn.
Personality is 40% genetics, 40% upbringing, and 20% the last movie you watched.
This is bullshit. It`s like the cops don`t even know that the speed limit is different when you`re listening to AC/DC.
That moment when you think you know somebody then they pull out an entirely new bag of stupid.
Every day is a constant battle of trying to convince myself I don’t like cookies.
Give a man a fish and he`ll go to McDonald`s instead. Teach a man to fish and nope, still McDonald`s
Him: What to play Trivial Pursuit? Her: Sure, But I,m not that smart. Him: What to play strip Trivial Pursuit?
I think my mailman is stealing my Nigerian lottery checks.
When I was a kid...no wait, I still do that.
Scientists are saying that social media is making us less accepting and more aggressive. Whatever, a$$holes!
Wouldn’t it be a smart idea? To make the sticky part on envelopes taste like chocolate?