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Occasionally, I like to agree with a man just to watch the look of fear, confusion and nervous-anxiety.
By 5, the human child can walk and feed itself, but doesn`t yet stray from home, as it relies on parents for tablet charging and maintenance
Life is very funny, if you take the time to watch it.
Not sure why my wife is only mad at me, our 4 year old forgot her birthday too.
Laundry is like sex in reverse: you drop in a load, everything gets wet, then rolls around and ends up dry and neatly folded.
That son of a b*tch moment when you`re walking around the house with socks on and step on a random wet spot.
sometimes... late at night... i rearrange traffic signs. people need to be challenged.
I`m gonna surprise my hand with some sex tonight!
The ultimate home security system is having crappy stuff.
I get a lot of “You must work out!!!” I just wish it wasn’t from doctors. :(
if it has tits or tires sooner or later it will give you problems.
You can get super human strength when put in life or death situations. Last night I uncorked a bottle of wine with my teeth during a tantrum...
Obviously the movie "the good wife" is not based on a true story. It`s fiction people.
"Are u going to the circus?" is a perfectly good sentence when not used as a follow-up 2 your wife`s question: "how does my make-up look?"
I like to read magazines about parenting. That way, I can learn all the things my parents did wrong and I can go back to them and say "See? This is the reason I am like I am."