Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I love my toilet. We`ve been through alot of sh!t together.
I thought about going outside and doing something today but my Wi-Fi really doesn’t reach very far.
I think Tampax and Hershey`s should get together and offer a super pack....
Started a new exercise routine yesterday. So far I`ve only missed one day.
The Easter Bunny doesn`t always drink, but when he does I bet it`s hopscotch.
How can it be considered stealing when the WiFi signal is trespassing in my house?
When your wife`s in labour, never sneak a look at the business end; it`s like watching your favourite pub burn down.
I think I need to lose some weight. I tried to sit up earlier and ended up rocking myself to sleep
How many decades of knowing someone before it`s rude to ask what their name is?
I got food poisoning today. I don’t know when I’ll use it though.
Taught a man how to buy fish ... So much easier.
I`d like to thank my exs for encouraging me to learn about cars. Like how to cut the break lines, hoses, or discreetly slash a tire.
I do everything faster when I have to pee.
I wonder if birds look at planes and think "man, I`ve really got to hit the gym"
Of course China is dominating the olympics, they probably made all of the equipment.