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Thought cartoons were getting better. Turns out it was a news story about Justin Bieber.
I try and avoid picking up turtles on the side of the road. Just in case they`re in the middle of a race.
I wish I could write `` I Miss You `` on a rock and throw it at your face, so you can know how much it HURTS to miss you
Pringles cans should have a twist mechanism like stick deodorant.
"Okay" means you`re in the clear. "K" means you`re better off not coming home. Fellas, you know what I`m talking about.
Have you guys seen the new documentary about white trash? I only saw the trailer.
Every girl is beautiful, sometimes it just takes the right amount of alcohol to see it....
Like if you remember the correlation between a pencil and a cassette tape ...
The bad news is I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. The good news is I no longer give a crap.
What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
Well, it`s easy to tell I`m single. It`s Saturday night and I`m at home updating my facebook status...
i used to like you but thanks to facebook i now know how boring u are
You can tell how old someone is by what part of the chex mix is their favorite.
If you feel lonely... dim all lights & put on a horror-movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore
A book fell on my head, I can only blame my shelf.