Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Hey Samsung and Apple, no need for commercials. We’ve all chosen sides.
Looks like Waldo got on the malasian plane.. well played waldo.. well played..
I`m a good singer. Unfortunately I have a bad voice.
Just got a new phone. Pretty pissed all my contacts were not lost.
For Display Only` signs on the toilets at Home Depot. Sorry guys my bad. ;)
Sometimes putting on pants is the hardest part of my day.
Think of me as an idea. A really, really bad idea.
Why is it that the most interesting things in life usually aren`t in our best interest?
I just gave my kid ice cream because she wouldn`t stop crying. Sorry, whoever she winds up marrying.
I started studying Tai Chi, so I wouldn`t recommend getting in a slow-motion fight with me...
Best thing to do when you`re stuck in a group text is to to throw your phone in the street and start a new life and maybe get some chipotle
The self-driving car should have an "I`m Feeling Lucky" button that drives you to a random location.
I bet cats are mad they can’t sit on televisions anymore.
Today I caught myself smiling… I was thinking of you… Don’t flatter yourself though, it was because you had a booger in your nose the last time I saw you.
When Miley Cyrus is naked and licks a hammer it’s “art” and “music”... but when I do it, I’m “wasted” and “have to leave Home Depot"