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Damn boy! Are you a slinky? Cause I wanna wanna push you down a flight of stairs, then kick you when you stop halfway to the bottom.
It`s kind of funny how so many people think that being gay is a choice but being fat isn`t
Sorry I cut you off mid-sentence so I could sprint after an ice cream truck.
I`m not impatient. You`re just slow.
The good thing about being 6' 6? is that if I develop a bald patch, no one will see it..Unless you’re using Google Earth.
When it comes to tantrums, I throw like a girl.
Sometimes I feel that I need someone special to complete me, but then I have a pizza and I`m like, "Nope. I`m good."
All shoes are technically buy one get one free.
My mother suggested that I get professional help... and that`s when I hired my first hooker.
I still dunno why they say cats have 9 lives. My cat only eats & sleeps all day long. It has no life at all!
If I pretend to be dead will you stop talking?
It`s remarkable how much I can get done out of sheer spite.
My blood hound was just attacked by a Crip hound.
The moment you empty your vacuum cleaner is the moment you become a vacuum cleaner.
There’s no excuse for laziness.. but if you find one, let me know.