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Maybe early risers just aren’t as awesome at sleeping as I am.
When we catch the people who kill elephants & rhinos, can we pull all their teeth first?
Your license plate should be your phone number... So when you drive like a dumbass, I can let you know about it.
This is a private status. Please don`t tell anyone about it.
I would call my fashion style: “clothes that still fit.”
If you ever want to know what you look like to the world, don’t look in a mirror, have a child draw you.
This sushi restaurant has the worst service. "Sir, this is an aquarium"
Is it wrong to use cheat codes for Wii Fit.
Sometimes Google should just come back with a message that says “trust me, you don’t want to know.”
There is 2 address we will always know by heart, 1: Our Own, and 2: P. Sherman 42 wallyby way Sydney!
Nothing says "I love you" like my cat aggressively bathing itself immediately after I pet her.
I would like to learn one of those clicking languages from Africa because I get the feeling my knees are trying to tell me something.
I thinking about how im disgusted by holding a gas pump but yet, I have no problem drinking my beer from a cup that ten other people drank out of, and a backwash covered ping pong ball was just thrown into it after hitting a dirty a$$ garage floor??
I`d like to have a child one day ... Two days, tops.
Sometimes I have to go outside to get signal on my phone for Facebook so yes, you could describe me as "outdoorsy."