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Either I need to up my dosage or my income.
We should do this “3-day weekend” thing more often.
The circus may no longer come to town but at least we’re guaranteed to always see a few clowns in Washington.
How long do I have to sleep before I`m legally a bear?
Note to self: Next time, don`t use "continue" as the Safe Word.
Relationships are like bathrooms. I`m in them a lot longer than I need to be, probably cause I`m playing on my phone the whole time.
I accidentally had two energy drinks today and now my house is decorated for Christmas.
They act like technology is ruining childhood, but back in the day, kids were so bored they would turn their eyelids inside out for fun.
The problem with the girl of my dreams is that she’s never around when I’m awake.
If there is a wrong place and a wrong time, I’ll be there.
I`d go to church if they had Wi-Fi.
Quick question, ladies: If you shave your eyebrows off and then draw them back on, what the hell are you doing?
You say hangover. I say out of booze.
Rabbits jump & they live for 8 yrs. Dogs run & they live for 15 yrs. Turtles don`t do anything & they live for 150 years. LESSON LEARNED!
For an "adult" bookstore, this place has a LOT of picture books