Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
eBay sellers - just because you`ve dug your suit/dress out of the back of your wardrobe doesn`t make it vintage. #JustOldAndSmelly
My internet addiction is getting alt of ctl.
That awkward moment when the guy who discovered milk had to explain what he was doing to the cow
After 20 yrs of marriage, my best move is to clean something unexpectedly.
My ex-wife once left a note on the fridge: "It`s not working. I can`t take it anymore. Gone to stay with Friends." I opened the fridge, the light came on, and the beer was cold. Not sure what she was talking about!
I miss times when I was working at the zoo... my boss fired me just because I left the lion`s gate open.... I mean who would steal a lion
If all the worlds a stage and the men and women merely players, how come Justin Bieber gets all the airtime?
There`s this cool trick I do where I post whatever the f*ck I want becasue this is my account, not yours.
I have difficulty sleeping at night because I lay awake obsessing over life`s mysteries, like how exactly does paper beat rock.
When I think of a selfie, I`m not sure it`s the same thing you`re thinking of
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol at my house may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.
What if firemen acted like policemen and just drove around shooting water at anyone who looked like they might catch on fire.
"This is so wrong," I say excitedly, my heart racing, my hands trembling.. as I butter a doughnut
my husband of 10 years still goes mad when I use his toothbrush, if anyone knows a better way to get dog poo off shoes, im all ears