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Any of you girls wanna come over tonight for pizza and sex? ... I`m just kidding. There`s no pizza.
If you see anything posted from me that involves something normal or appropriate, it is not me. I believe I`ve been hacked.
Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
I`m one more bottle of wine away from starting a blog.
My medical ID bracelet says "just let it happen"
If someone hates you for no apparent reason, give them one.
You say I’m dirty minded, but how did you understand what I meant?
I wish computer companies would design a keyboard with a removable crumb tray, kinda like my toaster.
The secret to a successful lemonade stand is vodka.
I`m CDO. It`s like OCD but the letters are in alphabetical order. LIKE THEY SHOULD BE!!!
It’s called sarcasm, and it confuses stupid people.
I`m not worried about the zombie apocalypse that is coming. I`m worried about the fcuktard apocalypse that is here right now.
A newly wed guy asked me about marriage. I told him it`s sort of like a museum. You have to be quiet and you can`t really touch anything.
Is it rude to put *vomits* under someone`s post ?
I have decided to follow my dreams.....starting with that one where I am naked at work.