Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
They should create an app that makes your cellphone go “ahhhhhhhh” when you plug it in.
We live in a world in where it is easier to get out of a marriage than a mobile-phone contract
I just burned 1200 calories! I forgot about the pizza in the oven.
When a girl tells you she has a nipple piercing, the correct response is always "I don`t believe you."
Who the hell invented Bull Riding? "Hey, I`m gonna hop on that 2,000 pound pissed off animal...Time me!!!"
"I am upping my standards... so up yours!"
New Subway rule: You must give the person in front of you a wedgie if they take more than 5 seconds to choose what kind of bread they want.
WHAT DO WE WANT!!! A cure for hangovers WHEN DO WE WANT IT!!! Please stop yelling
The New iPhone 7 is coming out in August. If you want a sneak peek of the new iPhone. Take a look at your current iPhone and pretend it cost 200 dollars more.
I think I`m the drunkest person at this bed bath and beyond.
You`re the one who wore a red and yellow scarf to class. So don`t look at me weird for shouting "10 points for gryffindor" when you answer questions cause I know you wanted this. -Bfanch
Hey micky you`re so fine, you`re so fine you blow my mind hey micky! hey micky! Admit it, you didnt read it, you sang it
If you put a "Student Driver" sign on top of your car, Nobody will ever suspect you of drunk driving.
Neil Armstrong was the first human being to step foot on the moon. Neil A. backwards spells "Alien"
I wake up everyday planning to be productive. Then a voice in my head says, " hahaa, good one!" Then we laugh and laugh and take a nap.