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If a man speaks at sea where no women can hear, is he still wrong?
If your job title is head receiver, you know you`re doing something right.
Step 1 - Change your Wi-Fi password to "blowmefirst." Step 2 - Wait for someone to ask you for it.
Statistics say that 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea. Does that mean that 1 enjoys it?
What kind of wine goes best with laundry?
You can`t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.
Today in my local cemetery I came across the grave of Arthur Wynne the inventor of the crossword puzzle. For those that want to know where he is buried it`s 6 down and 4 across.
He who laughs last didn´t get it.
There was a HUGE spider in the shower.. So I ran into the living room screaming naked.. Now my daughters` friends probably won`t be allowed over anymore..
When I was a kid, I told my parents I was going to make something of myself. I think they are getting impatient.
There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
You’d be more impressed with me if you never met anyone else.
Actually officer, if you factor in the earth`s rotation, we were all speeding.
It`s such a beautiful day I had to open the window while I watched TV
What doesn`t kill you, will hopefully try again