Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There`s a time and place for wine, In my hand and now.
Facebook: Saving us money on birthday cards since 2004
If abortion is murder then are condoms kidnapping?
Billy Ray Cyrus made a million dollars at a playgirl photo shoot. He just started taking his clothes off and they paid him to put them back on.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Saying an actors performance was unbelievable is actually an insult.
Knife > gun because if I pull a knife, you don`t know what I`m gonna do. Stab you? Open a letter? Or am I gonna frost a cake? It`s a mystery
It`s a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny jean fad.
If you`re ever held at gun point, just remember, I`m behind you 100%.
Is it so much to ask that everyone who ever wronged me be forced to leave the country and change their identity?
Thoughts of you make my demons nervous.
Whew, good thing there`s a facebook petition for ending the shutdown, or else we`d be in real trouble.
Between the coffee and the cocaine, it looks like the mission of Colombia is to wake up the world.
insert coin to view my status
I`d like to thank the person who looked at a buzzing Bee-hive and thought: "Those ba$tards are hiding something delicious in there I know it."