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I wish I could feel as happy as an adult, as I felt as a kid when the teacher wheeled in the TV during class
When someone is in a bad mood, I like to help matters by pointing out several times that they seem to be in a bad mood.
If doing things was as easy as thinking about doing things I’d get a lot more done.
I never thought I`d be one of those people that hit the gym early in the morning ... I was right!
Shopping at the Dollar Tree makes me feel rich and poor at the same time
Have we considered putting Scooby Doo and the gang on the Malaysian airplane caper?
If I`ve learned anything about picking up woman at the super market it`s to stay away from those in the tampon isle.
My date just saved me tons of money by simply saying, "no, I don`t want to be your valentine and stop texting me!"
Everything just seems much better when you`re in denial
Is running in front of cars some sort of gang initiation for squirrels? - Bfanch
I`m sorry I said your head looks too small to power your body.
My desire to be well informed is currently in deep conflict with my need to stay sane.
You`d think the self checkout lanes would have more mirrors.
I found a penny today that reminded me of you. Totally worthless and always in a stranger`s pants.
Today’s forecast.. mostly cloudy with a 99.9% chance of alcohol