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Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels. LOL. But on the up side, it is fun!! ;)
I just realized there are more toes in the world than people
There`s no point in using a big word, when an infinitesimally diminutive one will do.
When someone asks if you lost weight, the correct response is always, "no, it just seems like it to you because you got fatter."
Having to share a room with your spouse is absolute nonsense. Even kids get their own rooms...
Let`s be honest, we all have someone on Facebook we wanna bang...with a pan.
Don`t judge me for things I did a few seconds ago, I`ve changed since then.
I can read your mind, your thinking about sex right now, no wait, wait.. that`s my mind, sorry, I can read my mind. . .
It`s impossible to get a parking ticket if you don`t have windshield wipers.
Good Morning: You, my friends are the reason I wake up every morning ? LOL JK, I have to pee.
Watch out! It’s quite possible some of my best mistakes haven’t been made yet.
Why isn`t Wendy`s girl fat? You would think that someone who eats so many Baconators, chicken sandwiches and other burgers, would be quite the porker by now.
you`re about as useless as a red light in grand theft auto
I always wanted to buy a Parrot and teach it to say, "Help, they`ve turned me into a parrot!"
Bill Gates: A billi a billi a billi JayZ: Half billi half billi half billi Lil Wayne: A milli a milli a milli Me: A dollar a dollar a dollar