Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just told the guy at the second drive-thru window that the guy at the first drive-thru window wants to fight him.
Never wake a sleeping woman. Because then she´ll be awake.
Parallel park, like nobody’s laughing.
I do marathons ... on Netflix.
I have lost my mind and I am making no effort to look for it.
Blockbuster sell sweets and ice cream to go with your DVD rental - who the hell wants to rent sweets and ice cream?
That sounds fried. I`ll take it.
You can tell a man`s age by how close their socks are to their knees.
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they`re going to be when you kill them.
I often ask myself "What`s wrong with me?" and the answer is ALWAYS "You can`t drink at work"
Walmart...because going to Target requires identity theft protection and a shower.
For the life of me, I can’t understand why small and medium pizzas exist.
Have you ever listened to somebody speak and wonder who ties their shoelaces for them?
My body needs a refresh button.
My favorite in-laws are the ones that don`t exist.