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So many rules; so little time to break them.
The real danger of running with scissors is that a rock might fall on you.
Life would be a lot easier if employers accepted excuses like “I’m sorry I can’t come into work today, I’m sleepy”
Never judge a whiskey by its drinker.
See, this is why I never like too wake up, it means doing things.
Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won´t spoil me.
My dream job would be the Karma delivery service
Why does Facebook even give me the option to `Like` my own status? Of course I like my status, I`m F*ck!ng Hilarious! ...and Sexy.
It`s great how you have legs that can take you away from a conversation when you don`t feel like listening to people anymore
They say women only use 10% of their anger
My husband woke up this morning with a HUGE smile on his face. I love Sharpie markers.
"Nothing there? Better bark at it." - my dog
I live in a small town where the population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregant a guy leaves town.
4 out of 5 voices in my head think the other voice is a douche...
I was named after my father. I don`t really like the name "Dad" though.