Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You can`t lick any part of your reflection except your tongue.
That awkward moment when you finally realize what your rice krispies are saying to you.
Fact: Vegetarians live up to nine years longer than meat-eaters. Nine horrible, tedious, meaningless, worthless, baconless, cheeseburgerless, meatless years.
The best occupation to work from home as: Bartender.
I bet everyone in Gotham prisons really hates the guy that killed Bruce Wayne`s parents.
Best grilled cheese ever!! All I did was add a hamburger patty.
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is, "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is, "Probably because of something you did."
This fly in my car is going to be very disappointed when it ends up at Walmart.
Don`t trust anyone that orders a Medium Pizza....
It may appear like I`m doing nothing, but i`m actively waiting for my problems to go away!!!
Treat your mom to a margarita this mothers day! Remember you`re the reason she drinks.
Bitch, I grew up on the streets!!...Yes, it was Sesame
Im having a problem in Call Of Duty, I go to the menu and... alright by now the girls have stopped reading this, anyone know any good porn sites?
The future is that time when you’ll wish you’d done what you aren’t doing now.
Does running out of money count as exercise?