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Let me get this straight…a woman could pour hot wax on her legs, ripping all the hair out…and still be afraid of a spider?
A zip line but from the sofa to the fridge
A human fart can be louder than a trombone. I discovered that at my daughter`s school concert.
Just told the guy at the second drive-thru window that the guy at the first drive-thru window wants to fight him.
really vry funny
Damn girl, are you a Snickers bar, because you`re so sweet and satisfying and surprisingly hard and ... hold on, are those nuts?
If history has taught us anything, it’s that reheated french fries are gross.
A cheap way to get Botox face is by walking your dog in zero degree temperature.
I`m convinced that homeless people have all the shopping carts with 4 good wheels.
There are 364 days till Christmas and people already have their Christmas lights up. Unbelievable.
Lawns: You cut them, then water them so they grow just so you can cut them again. This does not make sense.
It`s all shits and giggles till someone giggles and shits
They always say "love makes the world go around"... They spelled beer wrong.
Trojan should be sponsoring Teen Mom. That show is the best advertisement for why you should always wear condoms.
Babies dont have parents, they have staff.