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Got in touch with my inner self this morning. That`s the LAST time I buy single ply toilet paper.
If doing things was as easy as thinking about doing things I’d get a lot more done.
I`m proud of anyone who has quit doing drugs and alcohol, I don`t want to hang out with you now but I`m still proud...
Why is it that everyone you hate has such a better job than you?
How do I like my eggs? ... Umm in a cake.
No YouP*rn… I do not want to play poker, I’m at work for crying out loud.
If there`s one thing in this world that everyone can agree on it`s... "Goonies never say die!"
I think it`s really strange how some people talk to their animals, give them personalities and make up voices for them. My dog, Benjamin, agrees with me.
1. OMG will this ever end? 2. OMG will this ever end? 3. OMG will this ever end? - top 3 things on my mind when I`m in a conversation
If by `the Hamptons` you mean `my pajamas`, then yes, I absolutely weekend in the Hamptons
I hate it when people radiotype us blondes as dumb.
You know you drank too much if you have to wait until your court appearance to find out what the hell happened that night
Getting old sucks. I use to wake up feeling like a million bucks. Now I feel more like a bounced check.
I wouldn`t mind all the penis enlargement emails if they weren`t coming from my wife.
Relationships are not a test... So why cheat?