Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I try to avoid nice people, so they can stay that way.
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance…the five stages of me hitting the snooze button in the morning
Having kids is like continually cleaning up after a huge party that you didn`t attend.
I don`t always have awkward moments, but when I do I make sure I write them on Facebook so my friends know how awkward they were.
Women say they love a man in uniform but when i go clubbing in my McDonalds uniform none of them will talk to me....I`m confused
My daughter wants to know when the hamster we "planted" in the garden will start growing.
I did not trip...the floor looked like it needed a hug.
If a camera adds 10 pounds then maybe stop eating them
I bought a pair of Meatloaf underwear today. On the front they say `I would do anything for love`. On the back, `But I wont do that!`
I’m taking care of my procrastination issues; just you wait and see.
Look up procrastinator on Wikipedia. There’s a picture of me. Well there isn’t yet, but there will be. Probably by tomorrow. Maybe Tuesday.
Facebook - the place where you can whine and get likes for it...
I have decided to follow my dreams.....starting with that one where I am naked at work.
I just thought you should know, I just did all the laundry and didn`t lose a sock to the dryer monster...
5 symptoms of laziness –> 1.