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And then her mood ring just...exploded
Have a day. That`s about as inspirational I get.
The most annoying are those people in great shape at the gym…. I’m like, “What are you doing here? You’re done.”
My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend and then not doing anything when it comes.
It saddens me to say that after tasting this homemade whiskey/nacho cheese ice cream, I’ve found not all dreams are meant to be followed.
You mean.. people run? On purpose? When nobody is chasing them?
I`ve got this great new drinking game where you take a shot every time you want to get more drunk.
Home is where I can look ugly and enjoy it.
This year, I`m thankful for all the people that included me in their mass texts wishing me a "Happy Thanksgiving," now I know which numbers to block when Christmas comes around.
I bet people who like their own statuses wink at themselves in the mirror too.
I`m getting tired of having to write "Sent from my iPhone" at the end of all my e-mails. Maybe I should just get an iPhone.
Apparently, saying “Wow, you’ve grown since I last saw you” isn’t deemed socially acceptable when said to adults.
"I went to Jared" I whispered as she slowly opened the velvety box of Subway coupons.
My doctor said I need to drink more water every day, so I have started putting ice cubes in my vodka.
Lets all take a minute and realize the lack of creativity in the name "fire place"