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Who says nothing is impossible. I´ve been doing nothing for years.
Cannibals don`t drink coffee ... They have a cup of Joe instead.
honestly I`ve never seen a tombstone that read "died from not forwarding a text to 10 people"
In relationships, it’s important to pay attention to the person’s likes and dislikes. My parole officer, for example, hates to be tickled.
If you`re reading this then I`m wishing you a Happy New Year! Stay safe, have fun, and remember, I like New Years gifts too!
What if aliens only abduct crazy people, because nobody will ever believe them?
I have my own version of Whole Foods, where I eat the Whole Pizza, Whole Box of Donuts, Whole Bag of Chips...
Soul mates are people with the mutual understanding that no one else will put up with their sh!t.
is it just me, or did anyone else think that we would be living like the Jetson´s by 2011?
You are not a "Food Blogger", you`re a "Fat a$$ with a laptop"
I`m not saying your cat doesn`t care about you, I`m saying if Lassie was a cat, Timmy would still be in that well.
This is odd?!?! The hour we lost this weekend was the one when I was planning to go to the gym.
I had a bit of a lazy day sitting in my underwear looking for jobs online. My boss was furious.
According to my current parking spot I`m a physician.
There are only 53 days until Christmas... just a heads-up in case you haven`t shopped for me yet.