Daily Silly Status

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then go find somebody whose life gave them vodka and throw a party.

I socially identify as the guy who tried to jump off of the sinking Titanic but ending up hitting a massive propeller on the way down.

You know you`re getting older when you play GTA and spend 3 hours just walking around the map trying to find where you parked your car.

I decided I`m going to be poor... Its Cheaper :)

And yet another year goes by with People magazine failing to recognize my beauty.

If noone comes from the future to stop you, how bad of a decision could it really be?

You know what I like about people? Their dogs.

I love Christmas presents wrapped in bubble wrap... it`s like two gifts in one!!

Ever drink so much your wife makes sense? Me neither...But I keep trying

If at first you don`t succeed...Do it the way your wife told you to. ;)

I like to punish people who ask me how I`m doing by giving them a detailed description of how I am doing.

when in Rome get naked ;)

I’m so glad I was young and stupid before there were camera phones.

I felt sorry for the hypnotist I saw last night…he hypnotized 7 guys…then dropped the mic on his foot and yelled F*CK ME ... what happened next will haunt me for the rest of my life

Keep your friends close and your unattractive enemies closer so you look better by comparison in pictures.