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Olympic Mens Ice Hockey USA vs Canada. Loser keeps Justin Bieber.
I miss being able to use the excuse "I wasn`t home when you called."
Making an effort in the last of 2014 to cut away distractions so I can spend more time with my iPhone.
My 4-year-old thinks the 5-second rule means he can eat anything off the floor if he waits 5-seconds first. That M&M was from last Easter.
They should make a medal for anyone who uses an entire tube of chapstick without losing it.
That microwavable meal was delicious and filling! - no one ever
My favorite part of the movie The Notebook is where I turned it off and watched Terminator 2 instead.
I think...therefore, I am.....single
If you ever get caught sleeping during work, just slowly raise your hand and say "In Jesus name I pray, Amen."
I guess today has been pretty good. I haven`t had to slap one single person yet....
Who picks up a seeing eye dogs poop?
Where is the "Made In China" labels made?
Hell, I finally figured out what was wrong with me ... I have been reading the wrong horoscope!!
Pink camouflage: I`m like, where you hiding? Candyland?
If the government shutdown effected alcohol or internet porn they`d have this sh!t fixed by tomorrow morning.