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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I need me a pretty girl with an ugly girl personality
You can never read a doctor`s prescription, but you can sure read his bill
Age sure does change your perspective. Lots of things I hated when I was a kid I love now... like having nothing to do, going to bed early, watching the news, spankings.... stuff like that.
When someone is in a bad mood, I like to help matters by pointing out several times that they seem to be in a bad mood.
I`m not feeling myself today ... would you do it for me?
Being rich doesn`t equal happiness but i`d rather cry in a ferrari
Ah man... i don`t have any notifications... better go check another computer
New documentary movie about white trash ... I only saw the trailer...
What a snow day inside with the kids! My one son thought it would be a good idea to fill up the garage freezer with snow to save for later and my other son had an "accident" and peed all over the floor in the bathroom. Youd think they know better at 13 and 15 years old! I probably should stop letting them drink beer in the house.
No, I don`t have tourette syndrome..I was just telling you what I think of you.
Just how hairy was the dude who invented a shampoo called Head & Shoulders?
I know I don`t look like it but I`m really good looking!
All I want is to see you smile...that and maybe a pizza.
I have an eating disorder; I`m about to eat dis order of fries, dis order of wings, and dis order of nuggets.
You think you have problems, I used a toothpick to get a toothpick out of my teeth this morning.