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You can learn a lot about a girl by ignoring her text messages.
Reasons to get out of bed: Food.
Perhaps Voldemort’s face is flat because he ran into the wrong wall at the train station.
likes to end all my phone calls with "Ok, I`ll see you later on at the party!" and then quickly hang up. Let them figure it out.
My favorite all time cooking shows: 1. Iron Chef 2. Hell`s Kitchen 3. Breaking bad
If I don`t remember what I did, don`t ruin it for me by reminding me.
When I`m bored, I send a random text to a random number saying "I hid the body... now what?"
High-five a veteran today.
I have always been suspicious of Wendy`s hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.
I hate it when auto-correct changes my "omg" to "OMG" like, chill out, I`m not that surprised.
How many instruments do you have to be terrible at before you start playing the triangle?
Life…it’s just an “F” in lie.
Depending on the boob, the Bra is either the best or worst invention ever.
Not many people can say their Batman wallet matches their underwear like I can.
The older I get the better I used to be.