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if there wasn´t a last minute I´d never get anything done.
It hurts when you goto unfriend someone only to discover they beat you to it
Sometimes I get nervous I haven`t done anything with my life. But then something good comes on TV, and I`m OK.
Just belted the dog in the drivers seat and pushed the car up to the drive-thru window
’Friday’ is my second favourite word starting from the letter `F`. :)
My son asked me to explain women to him, so I bought him an XBOX game for his Playstation.
Just did a weeks worth of cardio after walking into a spider`s web.
Don’t waste electricity. How would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make 1 wool sweater. I didn`t even know they knew how to knit.
I fell asleep at the wheel smh, time to turn Mario Kart off and go to bed.
The best curve on a woman is her smile :) ...Hahahaha lmao! No I`m kidding, it`s her boobs.
Nothing says love like hearing a toilet flush on the other end of the phone.
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
Coffee? I`ll have a cream soda ... One cup of coffee and I`m up all afternoon.
Chip clips are for quitters.