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Almost time for my nightly foursome......... Me, my bed, my pillow and my blanket! What the hell were YOU thinkin` you perv!!!!!!
Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.
They say if the palm of your hand itches, you`re going to get something. And if your crouch itches, you`ve already got it.
If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
Parts of a worm: 1) Worm
I met a girl who told me that she broke up with her last boyfriend because he just didn`t work out. Which is when I knew, she wasn`t the one for me, as I hate to work out as well.
I hate Russian nesting dolls. They`re so full of themselves
I havend`t heard from DAEMON MAILER in years, I hope he`s okay.
I saw something that reminded me of you.. so I flushed the toilet and washed my hands(:
Yes I walked away mid-conversation. You were boring me to death and my survival instincts kicked in
I hate taking down Christmas decorations just to put up Halloween decorations...
My parents never asked me to run away from home, but there were many unexplained one way tickets.
There are plenty of fish in the sea ...That`s cool and all....but I`m a human.
My New Year`s resolution is to help all my friends gain ten pounds so I look skinnier.
Did we try giving the government a snickers?