Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"Rear facing, pedal activated photon cannon" sounds much more badass than "brake lights"
So what if Jesus turned water into wine... I turned a whole student loan into beer once. your move Jesus.
It makes me sad that so many women feel like they have to wear makeup and clothes.
I should be cleaning and disinfecting the toilet bowl today cause I have a feeling I`ll be hunched over hugging it later tonight.
If I`ve learned anything from Facebook, it`s that you shouldn`t be learning on Facebook.
LADIES: Not all men get into a relationship just for sex. Some just need a personal chef.
three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere "Hold my purse."
Online personality tests are pretty self-explanatory… If you’re taking the test, chances are you don`t have one.
I Got so Drunk Last Night ,.I Walked Across the Dance Floor to Get Another Drink, and I Won the DANCE COMPETITION...!!
For some reason, I`m an extremely secretive person. Don`t ask me why!
Her profile said she was a stone cold freak. Turns out she was just a wrestling fan with bad capitalization skills. :(
"Shit ton" is my favorite unit of measurement.
The awkward moment when you type HO instead of HI.
Men use love to get sex. Women use sex to get love. I use coupons to get pizza.
I use sarcasm because flat out telling you you’re a moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon. And I was raised better than that.