Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I decided to go on a road trip and not come back till I ran out of money... I made it to the end of the driveway.
If I had a dollar for every time someone has told me to grow up, I could probably afford a whole arsenal of Super Soakers.
As a community service, I send random inmates letters how my life is going to cheer them up.
I saw a chameleon today. I guess it was a pretty crappy chameleon.
Take mentos and freeze into ice cubes. Put the ice cubes in your friend’s drink. After five minutes their drink will randomly explode.
Why even ask how my weekend was if you’re just going to interrupt me halfway through to say “Yeah, I saw your Facebook post.”
One day I hope to understand the phrase "more money, more problems"
Teens, you should not being getting drunk. You`re annoying enough as it is
I have said it before. I will at it again. If anyone is into wife swapping. I will take a dirtbike or a puppy. Hit me up.
I try to always be the bigger person by hanging out with a lot of short people.
We`ve spent years planning and preparing for the zombie apocalypse all for nothing......clowns....its gonna be clowns that finish us off.
Bananas are the strippers of the fruit world.
You know it`s cold outside... when you step on dog poop and roll your ankle
Bored? Simply send a text to a random number saying "I`m pregnant"
My friend is showing me her new vegan handbag. I know vegans can be annoying, but should we really be making accessories out of them?