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Those friends who like and at the same time unlike my statuses please you`re increasing my blood pressure!
Pretty cool how the internet lets you stay connected with people you haven`t seen in years and silently judge them on a daily basis.
Ever wonder if the McDonalds logo is the letter "m" or just an image of your butt cheeks it will cause?
I have cat-like reflexes. If I hear a loud noise, I keep napping.
Shopping at the Dollar Tree makes me feel rich and poor at the same time
"Hello Kitty" should have been a brand of condoms...
A vegan friend on FB said if we had to kill our own food, we wouldn`t eat meat... I think if he had to build his own computer he couldn`t whine on FB.
The doctor said I need to drink more whiskey....Oh, by the way... I`m calling myself "the doctor" now.
I am finally old enough to realize my father was right, but now my kids think I am wrong.
Ladies, when it comes to doggy style.....I`m behind you 100%
Whatever “Estimated Time of Arrival” on the GPS. Challenge accepted.
You`re right, you didn`t ask that guy for a d!ck pic, but nobody asked for hundreds of pictures of your face either.
If you walk a mile in my shoes the least you can do is leave a pair of yours to wear.
10 times out of 9, you’ll find me exaggerating about something
I don`t fear death... It happens to everyone. I just hope when I am dead and buried, I don`t vote Democrat.