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They should turn off Netflix at 1:00am for people with jobs and no willpower....bastards
Be thankful for stupid people, they make it easier for the rest of us to get ahead in life.
Don`t be scared of the government shutdown, liquor stores are run by the states.
Have we considered putting Scooby Doo and the gang on the Malaysian airplane caper?
When I`m bored I like to call in sick to places I don`t work for. I`m getting written up at Home Depot
So when is this `old enough to know better` suppose to kick in ?
When she says she`s madly in love with you, concentrate more on the word madness.
Thanks, resealable packaging, but I think we both know that won`t be necessary.
Am I the only one who would like to see Punxsutawney Phil bite off the finger of the person that wakes him up every Groundhog Day.
Blockbuster sell sweets and ice cream to go with your DVD rental - who the hell wants to rent sweets and ice cream?
All my life I`ve wanted to learn to juggle. I just never had the balls to do it.
Sometimes, when I wake up in the morning, I`ll read 4 or 5 status updates and I`ll cry, because I relieze how dysfunctional some of my friends life`s are. but then I`ll smile when I remember things like the leftover pizza from last night sitting on the coffee table!
After I die, there are some people I’m going to haunt the sh!t out of.
Nobody cleans a house faster than a man expecting to get laid.
STD`s aren`t like pokémon, your not suppose to catch`em all!