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I told you I was trouble. You should have listened to me instead of staring at my boobs.
The guy below me obviously doesn`t know that R2-D2 is in movies, not television
’twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, everyone was screaming ... cuz I went into the wrong house.
Home sounds like a nice place, until they say they’re going to put you in one.
I don`t normally poop with the door open, but I don`t want to miss the in flight movie
There are 364 days till Christmas and people already have their Christmas lights up. Unbelievable.
I may be crazy but I say if you can`t talk to yourself, who can you talk to.
There are so many things in life I still need to lick.
for those people out there who don`t know me, congrats your not a facebook addict
I eat my salad without dressing because who has time to put on clothes...
I can paint the house and buy new furniture and my kids won`t notice, but, buy a new phone case...
Apparently, playing dead only works on bears not ex boyfriends.
Don`t sell yourself short, in fact, don`t sell yourself at all. I`m pretty sure it`s illegal
If you can`t tell the difference between delivery and Digiorno then you`re a f***ing idiot.
Try this... When leaving a fancy restaurant tell the people coming in "I recommend you try the donkey, snail or the squirrel".