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The majority of life`s greatest lessons are learned while observing your drunk friends.
The guy that thought of wrapping other food items in bacon deserves an award.
The further you push me away, the more I begin to enjoy viewing you from a distance.
Do you ever wonder how many people’s dreams you have been in?
It’s interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering
To stupidity ... And beyond!!
Thanks for accepting my friend request on Facebook, even though is was solely so I could gain full access to your profile and judge your life choices.
Peppermint Schnapps, the mouthwash you can swallow
Some Facebook friends are like ghost you dont see them but you know their there
In every organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired.
Don`t you just love it when you see someone who is photogenic, looks perfect in every picture but then when you see them in person you`re like EURGH God Damn! What happened to you in the last 24h!
Roses are red, violets are blue, daisies are white, sunflowers are yellow. This florist has everything.
There`s nothing more terrifying than accidentally making eye contact with a mall kiosk worker.
I`d like to have a child one day ... Two days, tops.
Yes, I used to "dance like no one is watching"; at least until Google Earth sent me a certificate for ten free lessons.