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Modern video games are giving kids unrealistic standards of how many swords they can carry at one time.
facebook cuz am too old to have imaginery friends
I`d rather be in a relationship where no one wears the pants.
I lost an ibuprofen under my dresser a week ago and now I`m worried the spiders are coming after me with no headaches and renewed vigor.
Why is that in girls tampon commercials they dance and laugh? Shouldn`t they be revving chainsaws and burning sh!t down?
If you have ever sat in the toilet at work and wondered how long you can sit there before someone searches for you, the answer is 47 minutes
OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect already.
Behind every great women is a man checking out her a$$
Beer is like sex. When it’s good it’s good…when it’s bad it’s still pretty good.
Every time I think I finally have the life I always dreamed of....I wake up.
Resisting the urge to write "Just shut the f*ck up" on someones status.
I only support ghost hunting if you need the ghost for food.
I`m 50% sure this cross eyed guy is starring at my tits.
After socializing and being nice to people all day it`s nice to sit down, drink by myself, and be an a$$hole on the Internet.
Just discovered an app that tells you which one of your friends is stupid. It`s called Facebook.