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Ziploc`s idea of how big a sandwich should be is very different than mine.
dear journal..im now the coolest kid in school....mom:SWEETIE THE CHESSCLUB IS HERE 4 U!!!
List of the most populated places in the world - 1. China 2. India 3. Friend Zone 4. United States 5. Indonesia
the kids next door have challenged me to a water balloon fight. just updating my status while waiting on the water to boil.
Sometimes I like to hold the door for people who are far away so they feel obligated to run just a little. ;)
Broke up with my girlfriend. She was into the horoscope stuff and we weren`t compatible. I`m a libra and shes a...b!tch
Every day can be Friday if you`re really irresponsible.
Hey bill collectors, nice try, but I don`t even call back people I know.
is it just me, or did anyone else think that we would be living like the Jetson´s by 2011?
I don`t like selfish people. I saw this guy pushing like 50 carts at Wal-mart last night. Really? You think someone else might want one?
When I text someone and they dont text me back, I automatically assume that they fainted from overexcitement.
If there is enough room to spell `bootylicious` on the back of your shorts...it probably isn`t
Every paper towel commercial just reminds me that the cleanest option is to just not have children.
It would be funny if the husband is actually sleeping with the Jake from state Farm.
As a kid, I used to be afraid of the dark. Now as an adult, I love the dark because I’m terrified of the electricity bill.