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Actually, The quickest way to fix that annoying noise in your car is ... Just open the door and push her out.
Vodka is just amazing water.
I just saw someone by themselves not looking at a phone. Hope they`re ok.
I’ve had no formal martial arts training, but I know for a fact the Power Rangers are wasting too much energy on unnecessary summersaults
I will straight up walk into traffic to avoid a kid selling something.
I`m about as lost as lesbian on ChristianMingle.com
I`m too lazy to be a stalker. You`ll have to come here. Bring coffee.
You don’t have to be naked to have a good time, but it helps.
In my experience, most arguments are caused by a misunderstanding of the fact that I`m right.
If I learned anything from my children, it`s that it is always OK to do something stupid, as long as someone DARED you to do it.
All you single ladies, please stop saying you should just give up and get a cat. If no man wants you, don`t subject an innocent cat to a life with you.
The worst part about being single is always doing what I want. Anytime. Anywhere. With whomever. That sucks.
It’s the people that DON`T talk to themselves that are the crazy ones. At least that’s what I tell myself.
I bet kangaroos get drunk and find some ridiculous shit in their pouches in the morning.
Trail Mix: M&Ms with obstacles