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Still not 100% clear on whether French Montana is a person or a steakhouse special.
Women are so jealous. I bet Eve counted Adam`s ribs everyday to see if another woman had been created.
You can steal my status updates whenever you want, but just remember that I lick every single one before I post them...
I end a lot of my sentences with "just saying`, because saying, "you idiot" is considered offensive.
Drinking lots of beer and doing my taxes. So far the Government owes me 3.1 million. I love this Country!
When I was a kid, I used to sing, `A, B, C,D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, ELEMENO, P`
I hate it when chicks wear pink camo. I`m like, "girl" where you hiding? Candyland?
A word to the wise ain`t necessary - it`s the stupid ones that need the advice!
For those of you who know nothing about pleasing a woman... the G spot is located at the end of the word "shopping".....js
Friends would describe me as classy, sassy and a bit smart-assy.
Learning how to break wooden boards in karate is important in case you ever get in a fight with a house.
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either :)
If McDonald´s sold hot dogs, could u, with a straight face, order a McWeiner & tell them 2 super size it?
My entire working knowledge of automotive repair is derived from the song "The Wheels on the Bus"