Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If other employees are taking four fifteen minutes smoke breaks a day, I should most certainly be allowed a one hour nap time.
Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
How do I tell a man he loves me?
I`ve got this great new drinking game where you take a shot every time you want to get more drunk.
Mashed potatoes really beg the question: “what else could we massively improve by squashing the hell out of it?”
Dear Cashier: Stop giving me attitude and acting like your job is so complicated and stressful. Self-Checkout has proven that you are really unnecessary.
Coffee is just a hug for your insides.
Pretty soon you`ll be able to get married online, instead of saying "I do" you will have to click "I agree to these terms and conditions."
How am I supposed to show a girl I like her, if I can’t even make her a mix tape anymore?
Win every argument simply by repeating your opponent`s last sentence in a whiny voice.
Two can play that game...` -people who dont understand that`s how games usually work
I tried to give a cute waitress my phone number by writing it on the credit card receipt but accidentally tipped her 9 billion dollars.
Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don`t know. Inspirational post are hard.
Youth is wasted on the young.
What do women want? The opposite of whatever they have.