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I just shaved my legs. I think I lost three pounds.
Apparently, the answer "I Know" is not a good answer when your friend tells you how good his girlfriend is in bed
State of mind is in no mind to state its state of mind.
Man, those 2013 Mayan Calenders are REALLY hard to find...
I`m selling my browser history on eBay before the government does.
I`m pretty sure by now βlazyβ is just part of my personality description.
I took my family to Sea World this weekend, but i wasnt allowed in. Apparently you cant take your fishing rod.
Timehop... reminding us that the stupid people we know today were just as stupid 5 years ago.
If you attached a bunch of watches together to make a belt it would be a waist of time.
For those of you who know nothing about pleasing a woman... the G spot is located at the end of the word "shopping".....js
I`m at my most popular when I just want to be alone.
I`m single by choice. Just not my choice.
What do 95% of men do after an orgasm? Delete their browser history.
Friends are like boobs. Some are real, some are fake