Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
In movies, do actors wear costume underwear? Or underwear from home? The whole thing is confusing. I don`t think I can keep watching movies
I pay $200 a month for car insurance, I`ll run all the red lights I want
My internet goes out more than I do.
I can tell you nice things but they`ll all be about me.
Know the rules well so you can break them effectively.
You call it "Blacking Out" I call it a "Surprise Nap"
I use profanity, the way Picasso used a paint brush
Instead of cleaning the house I just watch an episode of Hoarders and I think WOW, my house really looks great.
If there was an award for most pessimistic, I probably wouldn’t even be nominated.
You`d think my password was "yourmom" because the computer said it was too easy.
A lot of times I wonder if people think my girlfriend is only with me for my money.....but I am always reassured by the fact that I don`t have any money..........or a girlfriend....
I plan on being up really late tonight making voodoo dolls for, well, never mind, you will know who you are soon enough.
why don`t we get discounts for ringing up our own groceries in self checkout?
You wanna know where I`m ticklish? Hawaii.
I can`t wait to miss the upcoming season of American Idol.