Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t hate you. I just hope your next period happens while you`re in a shark tank!
The best thing about telepathy is…I know, right?
You know it`s time to clean your screen when you start confusing dirt with punctuation.
Oops! I hate when I pour myself a drink and then have 12 more by accident.
If you can`t fix it with duct tape or beer ... it ain`t worth fixin`
I don’t need a reason to do stupid things, just a venue.
We need to DETACH from all this technology and live life in the moment. Sent from my iPhone
i m not totally useless, i can b used as bad example
"This is so wrong," I say excitedly, my heart racing, my hands trembling as I butter a donut
Agreeing to disagree is lame. Let’s agree to take turns slapping each other until one of us admits we were wrong.
To be honest, I´m just fishing for compliments tonight.
How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box for me to start a campfire?
If you cannot FACE your problem, then the problem is your FACE.
I’ve never met a weekend that I didn’t like.
The best way to let people remember you is to `borrow money from them`