Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
They say the camera adds 10lbs. Stop eating cameras!
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say, “Close Enough.”
If you`re a vegan an atheist and a liberal, how do you choose which way to annoy people at Thanksgiving first?
"Good for you!" means, "I do not consider you a threat" in woman-speak.
If I have offended you, hurt you, belittled you in any manner, then I want you to know that I was only just getting started.
There’s a thin line between “I should do a status update about that” and “I should talk to a therapist about that”
Weird is just a side effect of being awesome.
Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that made you smile ?
After I die, there are some people I’m going to haunt the sh!t out of.
All single ladies, stop saying you should just give up and get a cat. If no man wants you, don’t force an innocent cat to live with you.
Unless your name is “Google”, stop acting as if you know everything!
I always found it a little counter productive when the teacher would say "Don`t get smart with me!"
Have you ever realized that sleeping is just your eyes staring at your eyelids all night long?
Sometimes I have to go outside to get signal on my phone for Facebook so yes, you could describe me as "outdoorsy."
I heard recently on the radio that, "If a man looks at womens breasts for 10 mins a day he will add 5 years to his life".. Can anyone confirm this?!! If so what are we waiting for?