Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Make any conversation awkward by pulling out and starting a stopwatch without saying why you’re doing it.
The part of “no” that I don’t understand is the part where I don’t get what I want.
A dog running a hundred miles to retrieve a stick? That`s pretty far-fetched.
It`s been close to a million years since I exaggerated about anything.
I feel sorry for historians, they have such a hard time letting go of the past.
Ya .... That Supermoon was OK ..... But I was quite disappointed when I realized it didn`t even have a cape.
The key to eating healthy is to avoid any food that has a TV commercial.
I have always been suspicious of Wendy`s hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.
Are you supposed to wear the fanny pack over the gut or underneath it? I don`t want to look like a dork.
"Hi, I`m here to ruin your life" - Social media
I just got an email telling me how I can have fuller, firmer breasts. I can`t wait to show them to my wife!!
Im so lazy today, I am going to watch fast and furious in slow motion.
You guys make me wanna be a better alcoholic!
Apparently people don`t like it when you lick your thumb and wipe all that black dirt off their forehead.
If only there was a way to voice a highly uneducated opinion to thousands of people on a regular basis